The Irresistible Urge

When my husband decided to buy himself a PS3, he bought the version that came with Metal Gear Solid 4. The console was IMMEDIATELY unpacked and hooked up to play this awesome game. And as I watched the opening movie on the TV screen, I saw this out of the corner of my eye.




If you don't get it then I'm sorry -- you're just not nerdy enough. I laughed till I cried! Here's a photo of the real D in the MGS4 Box.

If you think you can handle the Metal Gear Solid cuteness, then look no further. For thanks to Creative Paper, the world has been blessed with the opportunity to make a homemade Snake-In-A-Box!




Snake In A Box - Page 1
Snake In A Box - Page 2

_{Snake: I dunno. I was just looking at it and suddenly I got this irresistible urge to get inside... No. Not just an urge-- more than that. It was my destiny to be here; in the box. - Metal Gear Solid 3}

Meet Lambie

Meet Lambie: This poor, unfortunate soul came home with my husband one day and permanently became another doomed resident of our household.

Dorkface became attached to Lambie quite quickly. He would grab her in his mouth and viciously shake his head from side to side. (Isn't that what dogs, do?) And after shaking himself dizzy, he give her one last GLORIOUS fling up and backwards over his head...




... And this poor ragdoll of a finger puppet would go flying in a most amazing curve. She'd hang, sadly, in the air for a while before coming down onto the ground with a sad THUMP.

When I've seen enough of the abuse, I store Lambie inside the cat-nip box. A little peace and solitude while she marinates in her doom.

Ingredients of a Dorkface

Ingredients List:

1 Pair of Alert Eyes - Constantly looking like they're on the verge of being terrified and clueless.

1 "Lambie" - A sad finger puppet that has seen better days. It is constantly hated on, abused and flung about with careless abandon by Dorkface.

1 ERECT TAIL - This beat-stick of a tail has felled flower vases, scissors onto my husband's head, remote controls, etc.

12 lbs of CUTE - Because without this important ingredient, he would be without a hearth and home.

Oh Well.

All in all, it's not to be helped.

Position #4

Position #4: THE LIE. I think the final blow was the night I dreamt of PATRICK STEWART. I was at some nerdy convention and Picard-himself came up to me and TOUCHED ME! ON THE SHOULDER! He was smiling at me and telling me to buy an autographed photograph of himself. Um, weird! But I was a flustered, blushing mess! (C'mon, admit that you feel the same way about him, too!)

But then I woke up.
And there was Dorkface's ass. Masquerading as Patrick Stewart. :(

Position #3

Position #2: The Wedge First, he walks across me or my husband and PLOPS down between us. Then he'll do this awful shoulder roll thing and just SPRAWL on his back. And after a few seconds, his grand finale is to curve his body so his hip is just puuuuuussshing me away from my source of body heat! =_=;; Eventually, it'll just be so uncomfortable, I roll away from the darn cat. ::sigh:: (And let's note how peacefully my husband gets to sleep through this!)

Position #2

Position #3: The Face Smash I think the worst by far has been sleepily waking up to something cute and fuzzy only to find this cute and fuzzy thing firmly planted to your face. O_O Ah~ Snorgling your pet is all cute when HE doesn't want to do it, but it's just EW in the middle of the night! I think he was trying to suffocate me just to takeover my side. :(

Position #1

Position #1: The Ass Warmer. Um Gross. I wake up to this one more often than I'd like. Usually stuffing a pillow between his butt and my body quickly solves the problem. But when he PURRS. Oh, that kills me.