Why Breakfast Time is Troublesome

Hi there! It's been three years since I updated this blog and I figure it's better late than never. I've spent the last three years working on Pole Dancing Adventures (poledancingadventures.com), but I figure it's never too late to update Dorkface when the inspiration arises.

And this cat gave me a ton of inspiration today.

Samurai Pizza Dorkface Cat!

Dorkface tried to follow Daddy to Kendo practice last week. As his Dad was about to leave, we found Dorkface nestled inside the "bogu." (A bogu is the chest/belly armor that Kendoka wear around their torso.) He seemed pretty adamant about going with.



Naturally, the following image came to mind...


SO EPIC.

Why I Never Finish A Book

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When it comes to me and my reading buddies, I'm always behind. I can never keep up with Oprah's book club and I'm always a few months behind on the bestseller list. And it's not that I read slow; it's just that when you have a day job, chores and meow-faces to feed -- reading just never happens until right before I sleep. And if it's not fatigue that gets me first after a few paragraphs, then it's always Dorkface.

The above really happened once. Now, I hold onto my books a little tighter now. Hell has no fury like a kitty ignored. :P

Meet Lambie

Meet Lambie: This poor, unfortunate soul came home with my husband one day and permanently became another doomed resident of our household.

Dorkface became attached to Lambie quite quickly. He would grab her in his mouth and viciously shake his head from side to side. (Isn't that what dogs, do?) And after shaking himself dizzy, he give her one last GLORIOUS fling up and backwards over his head...




... And this poor ragdoll of a finger puppet would go flying in a most amazing curve. She'd hang, sadly, in the air for a while before coming down onto the ground with a sad THUMP.

When I've seen enough of the abuse, I store Lambie inside the cat-nip box. A little peace and solitude while she marinates in her doom.

Ingredients of a Dorkface

Ingredients List:

1 Pair of Alert Eyes - Constantly looking like they're on the verge of being terrified and clueless.

1 "Lambie" - A sad finger puppet that has seen better days. It is constantly hated on, abused and flung about with careless abandon by Dorkface.

1 ERECT TAIL - This beat-stick of a tail has felled flower vases, scissors onto my husband's head, remote controls, etc.

12 lbs of CUTE - Because without this important ingredient, he would be without a hearth and home.

Oh Well.

All in all, it's not to be helped.

Position #4

Position #4: THE LIE. I think the final blow was the night I dreamt of PATRICK STEWART. I was at some nerdy convention and Picard-himself came up to me and TOUCHED ME! ON THE SHOULDER! He was smiling at me and telling me to buy an autographed photograph of himself. Um, weird! But I was a flustered, blushing mess! (C'mon, admit that you feel the same way about him, too!)

But then I woke up.
And there was Dorkface's ass. Masquerading as Patrick Stewart. :(

Position #3

Position #2: The Wedge First, he walks across me or my husband and PLOPS down between us. Then he'll do this awful shoulder roll thing and just SPRAWL on his back. And after a few seconds, his grand finale is to curve his body so his hip is just puuuuuussshing me away from my source of body heat! =_=;; Eventually, it'll just be so uncomfortable, I roll away from the darn cat. ::sigh:: (And let's note how peacefully my husband gets to sleep through this!)

Position #2

Position #3: The Face Smash I think the worst by far has been sleepily waking up to something cute and fuzzy only to find this cute and fuzzy thing firmly planted to your face. O_O Ah~ Snorgling your pet is all cute when HE doesn't want to do it, but it's just EW in the middle of the night! I think he was trying to suffocate me just to takeover my side. :(

Position #1

Position #1: The Ass Warmer. Um Gross. I wake up to this one more often than I'd like. Usually stuffing a pillow between his butt and my body quickly solves the problem. But when he PURRS. Oh, that kills me.